tip for free

Admittedly, I'm a bit late with this, but trust me ladies, tuck it away with your cashmere sweaters, as it is just as perennial* in its usefulness.

Next Superbowl Sunday when the streets are emtpy and the Y chromosomes (and less informed double X chromosomes) have gathered around a bowl of nacho dip, GO JEAN SHOPPING.

You will shave at least 2.5 hours off your time--guaranteed.

Sizes will be found in the right pile, dressing rooms will be empty and the shopgirls will be bored. These three factors alone will allow you to try on 10 pairs in the time it has normally taken you to try on five. Add in the fact that you can spare yourself the horror of standing with 25s down around your ankles as you take an audible breath in preparation for a major suck in. Don't get me wrong--this unfortunate event may come to pass even on Super Bowl Sunday, but the point is no one is around to witness your gross miscalculation of the shrinkage of your thighs since you started that kickboxing class on January 1.

Depending on your philosophical school of thought, the jeans may not fit despite having no witnesses or they may NOT not fit because there is no one there to see them not fit. You--in denial--don't count.

If you're not sold on this brilliant gem of an idea yet, then consider this: if you shop for the jeans rather than eating the nacho dip you are more likely to avoid the above scenario altogether.

My only caution is this:
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT start thinking about said Bliss and beaches in Greece and adoring letters written on the inside of the shirt off his back left for you under your pillow while doing Super Bowl Sunday shopping. Hyperventilation and passing out underneath a pile of Rock and Republics and True Religions may occur whether there are witnesses or not and in this case, denial would be a potentially life-threatening mistake.

At school, librarian approaches, have to run, so eLLe speLLs "Perennial" tomorrow.