The blog “Coffee First & Then Love” (coffeefirstthenlove.blogspot.com) got me thinking about priorities, and long story short, I concur. In fact, for some people* coffee is love.
Now while you can't exactly date your coffee, you can wish that your boyfriend was more like your Starbucks barista.
So, I present to you:
Why Starbuck Baristas are Better than Boyfriends
1.Baristas understand you in the morning. You don’t have to feel bad about not wanting to talk to them pre-Grande Bold No Room, and they never mistake your pre-Grande Bold No Room mood as the silent treatment.
2.Some 3,709 Grande Bolds No Room later, which is roughly equivalent to five years of dating the same boyfriend, baristas can actually anticipate your needs.
3.Baristas always notice when you are wearing a new coat, get bangs or dye your blond hair red (duh).
4.Gender politics never enter the equation. Under those aprons, baristas—I’m pretty sure--are all the same.
5.Baristas are always there, exactly where you need them.
6.Baristas are always there, exactly when you need them.
7.Baristas never push their oatmeal raisin cookies on you. They respect your boundaries regarding shriveled fruit.
8.Baristas don’t care that you can’t cook.
9.Baristas speak Italian.
10.Baristas don’t lecture you about your totally legal addiction. In fact, they recognize and appreciate your undying loyalty with free refills, free WiFi, and the occasional free pumpkin scone.
11.Should a highly unlikely break up with your Starbucks barista occur, there is always another one just like him or her right down (or across) the street.**
12.Baristas never tell you that the only dog you’re ever getting is a pretend one or threaten to shoot the one you have.
*OK, OK, I speak of myself.
** Should this not be the case, a rebound with the Folgers pot at the Shell Station is always a viable if last resort option. It's called slumming it, and everyone from Tiger Woods to Jesse James has done it.
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