something like this (part 2)

So anyway, I make it to the gym parking lot by 4:29 p.m. only to see that there are no parking spaces available. I'm going to be honest--as someone who is at the gym religiously six days a week, I do become annoyed when all the posers decide to drop in at the same hour on the same day just because it is supposedly the coldest day of the year in Vegas and allegedly too cold to eat ice cream outdoors at the Dairy Queen down the street. I'm going to continue to be honest--as someone who shows up to spinning class even when she has a fever I'm doubly annoyed when I see that all of the posers who took my parking spaces also took my spinning bikes.

After 45 looooooooooooong minutes on the treadmill I go to the water fountain for a drink. This is when a perky brunette (immediately identifiable as a poser due to her conspicuous lack of sweat) steps out of the spinning room, sees me and says: Oh my god, I have to tell you: My daughters are sooooooo funny. They saw you last week and asked me to ask you for an autograph. They think you are one of the Olsen twins. How cute is that?"

Now, despite the endorphin rush I'm experiencing from high intensity intervals, I cannot find my manners for the sake of a woman who potentially displaced me from my rightful spot in Mandy's class. I zip through my possible responses.

"Yeah, I've never heard that before."
"Is that supposed to be a compliment?"
"Really? If I was two feet shorter, 8 years younger, and a billion dollars richer then sure, I could see how your cute little daughters would make such a stupid mistake."

I realize these are all a little harsh and a bit unfair to the gradeschool set so I ask flatly
"How was your Sunday ride through the park?"

And then I leave.
Quickly.