something like this

Lunar eclipse today in Leo. Delilah called me this morning to let me know--as though I didn't already know something was up when I accidently poured half the nutmeg (as opposed to just a shake of the cinnamon) into my $3 coffee at Starbucks. What exactly you may be asking does a lunar eclipse in Leo have to do with anything?

Well, if you're me, the answer goes something like this:

That a morning without coffee is not worth living in my world goes without saying, as anyone who has ever called me before 6:30 am and promptly and indiscriminately been hung up on can attest to.

That a morning without coffee happens to be the morning I am evaluated by the head of school and her minnion Ms. V during second period is downright cruel.

I'm sure that the rest of my school day was awful, but the migraine induced by caffeine deprivation has apparently affected my short term memory of anything that may or may have not passed.

I thought for sure that once I grabbed my afternoon double espresso, the day would take a turn for the better. Um, no.

I headed straight to a particular deli to buy a particular sandwich for a particular someone. No big deal, just a sweet gesture as long as you overlook two truths. 1. Particular someone lives over 2500 miles away and 2. 95% of the people who live in Vegas are slow at best and plain inept at worst. I'm sure you can already see my dilemma: I had to get this very perishable present on a plane to Particular Someone and I had to make my 4:30 spinning class.

First stop is Siena Deli. A pound of prosciutto, fresh mozzarella, sun-dried tomatoes, and lettuce on ciabatta later I'm standing in a line at the Post Office in Albertson's. Forty five minutes later I'm still standing in line at the Post Office in Albertson's (queasy flashbacks to my days of interning at an art magazine in the city were suddenly no longer repressed--but this is another entry altogether). I finally make it to the counter where the clerk tells me that I've missed the 3:30 cutoff. The clerk also tells me that yes, I am correct in my observation that while the man who makes the final pick up for the day is in fact standing right behind him in plain view, the computer states that Particular Someone will not recieve the package until Wednesday.

"Yes, Wednesday is guaranteed for an additional $35.99."
"In addition to the standard overnight fee?" I ask.
"Yes. So that would be $55.98."
"But it's not overnight if it is delivered on Wednesday."
"I understand that but it's only not overnight because you missed the cutoff."
"Does Fedex or UPS have a cutoff?"
"I don't know, ma'am. I don't work for Fedex or UPS."

I take the package back, huff and head to UPS.
"Yes, ma'am, of course the package can be delivered by tomorrow. Our cutoff isn't for another 5 minutes."
"Perfect. Let's do it."
"That will be $95."
My reaction was not unlike the day the woman at the DMV told me that my tags would cost $425 dollars.

I take the package back, jump in the car, and think about the proliferation of salmonella in the prosciutto and then whether the root of the word salmonella is Greek or Latin and whether it's etymology is at all related to the fish. The topic fascinates me enough that I drive right past Fedex (the big white building I can't miss according to UPS boy).

Two u-turn laters I am standing in front of the Fedex clerk who assures me that the sandwich will be on Particular Someone's doorstep by 10 a.m. She tells me the price and realizing that I'm between a rock and a hard place and that I'm right on schedule to miss my spin class if I don't drop this package off 5 minutes ago, I do what any sibling would do. I charge it to my little brother's corporate account.

I speed back to the house while talking to my mom on the phone, which is the equivalent of driving whilr putting on mascara (not that I've EVER done that). When I walk in the house I see that Bentley has eaten my IPOD for lunch.


Continued...tomorrow. Cake is calling.