for the love of spring...

I realized this morning that my last few posts have been a bit, um, cynical. Cynicism, in my opinion, is really just laziness in disguise-- in much the same way profanity is really just a lack of linguistic creativity. Now, don't get me wrong--there is a time and place for both. Cynicism is perfectly appropriate during the last month of winter in northeastern Ohio and profanity is appropriate--maybe even required-- in any situation regardless of the calendar month where the car--or third car--your dad bought you and a tricky garage door are involved.

However, today is the first day of Spring, so...

There seems to be much smack being talked about Cleveland lately. Admittedly, it's an easy thing to do:

1. We have the worst weather in the country--namely an utter lack of sunlight and snow accumulation that approaches the obscene, both of which cause a peculiar set of symptoms involving a paradoxical mix of sluggishness and depression due to widespread Vitamin D deficiency and a twitching, stir crazy kind of hyperactivity brought on by cabin fever.

2. While many cities are reinstating their farmers' markets, our food options this time of year fall into one of two categories: fish dinners and pancake breakfasts. If it isn't Friday night or Saturday morning, well, you're out of luck... (and don't EVEN get me started on the Girl Scout cookie fiasco in these parts...)

3. We have the second worst high school graduation rate in the country, which is strange since surely our students attend more days of school than most as our school administration is all but entirely IMMUNE to blizzards and snow squalls that bury small children (and Girl Scouts) waiting for the bus in the morning.

4. We seem to have a disproportionately high incidence of roads named after a serial killer. There's Bundy Street. Bundy Avenue. Bundy Way. Bundy Circle. Need I continue?

5. We seem to have a disproportionately high incidence of signs along the roads that say "Raise your plow." Huh?

6. We also have that little problem of how to proceed exactly whenever we see smoke and flames in the Cleveland sky as smoke and flames in the Cleveland sky could signify
a-nothing--two of the 30 steel factories are, after all, still open
b-the river is performing an encore
c-your house is in fact on fire soyoubettermoveitnowinevitablespeedingticketandpotholesthesizeofparkinglotsbedamned (go ahead, reread it, you'll get it).

I could go on, but I'm so over even pretending like I pay any attention to sports and so, in the name of--Ok I'm about to make up this word--equinoxical optimism I won't.

What I'm really trying to say is that Vegas and places like it have nothing us on days like today. No one, and I mean NO ONE can appreciate one of the first warm, sunny days of the year like we can.

So there.