Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, on February 21 a reporter from The Vindicator wrote a story about several recent UFO sightings in northeastern Ohio. Anyone who knows me well knows that aliens rank right up there with cantaloupe, gorillas, and raisins on my supposedly irrational but defensible list of things that frighten me. (I know there are people out there who feel me on the raisins: how many times have you bit into a perfectly good oatmeal cookie only to encounter a squishy grape that feels like larvae in your mouth?)
Turns out at least 25 sightings have been reported in our area in the last year, which of course means that there have been more. We can safely assume, I think, that only a small percentage of people who have seen UFOs flying about would actually admit they are the kind of people who actually have seen UFOs flying about.
Since I don't have Sigourney Weaver's number, I'm thinking of contacting Forbes Magazine. Perhaps the editors who so thoroughly revealed Cleveland as the worst, most miserable city to live in the country a few weeks ago could tweet the aliens and let them know that, really, their efforts are lost on Cleveland. They'd be better off, according to some very convincing data, to drop in on Burbank, CA; Amityville, NY; Gary, Indiana; or apparently EVEN DETROIT.
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1 comment:
Rasins? Really? Anyway I haven't heard of this UFO stuff and I am going to look into it ASAP. My theory as to why UFO's would be in Northeast Ohio is because they can operate better here without being noticed. If I were an alien that's what I would do. If you abduct people with no credability your chances of getting caught are less. Nobody is going to care if some guy leaving a VFW in Struthers gets taken as opposed to some music producer leaving a night club in Malibu. Makes sense to me
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