Spring Break Cleveland 2010! Woohoo! Day 2!

I want to live in an Anthropologie catalog.

If I did, I would awake awashed in my Bird Song Duvet ($248) and imported Parrot Ruffle Sheets ($168 from the online collection only). I would sit up and stretch in my Italian Campaign Canopy bed ($1,898) perched pertly on the landing of my recycled bamboo staircase overlooking my villa's library. Apparently, Anthropologie girls do not buy into such passe traditions as putting the bed in the bedroom.

If I lived in an Anthropologie catalog, I would then take a moment for myself despite the fact that the rest of the day will be a daisy chain (sustainably made no doubt) of moments for myself because, apparently, girls who live in the Anthropologie catalog don't "work." They are either independently wealthy or the best dressed call girls in print. I

If I lived in an Anthropologie catalog, I would then glance over at my Washed Ashore Lamp ($228) and then my Sevilla chair ($884), strewn with sun-bleached books written in French. I would feel comforted by these literary acquisitions, even though I wouldn't be able to read maybe more than a line or two. But no matter, Anthropologie girls apparently have better things to do than stick their noses in books--like straightening their Safari Sighting Pillows ($88 each) before deciding what to wear for the day.

If I lived in an Anthropologie catalog, my morning attire options would be endless!

Hmmmm...let's see...there's my Rustling Treetops dress ($188) which would be tres cute paired with my Glassflower Cardi ($148) and Solar Knots sandals ($238) or perhaps my Walkabout Shorts available in more colors ($78) with my Floating Fronds Blouse ($98) to match my Floating Fronds Bag ($198)! Wait...wait...I know... there's my Cloudfish skirt ($148), which would be fabulous with my imported Rainforest Sunset Wedges ($238) and my Treasured Petals necklace ($498)! And just in case I decided to sit and ponder how my Cloudfish skirt is neither a Cloudfish nor a skirt, my Shadowy Chair by Tord Boontje ($2,898) would be nearby for my repose.

If I lived in an Anthropologie catalog, I would shower in my curtain-less outside shower without worrying whether the neighbors were spying on me because--as I'm sure you can guess-- Anthropologie catalog girls are used to people looking at them and are above other people's dirty tendencies. I would just whistle away in the shower and use my monogrammed Tisket Tasket Soap Dish and matching Tisket Tasket Shampoo Dispenser (available as a set $79 or separately) while thinking about how very lovely my Anthropologie Catalog existence is.

Once showered and dressed I would float towards the kitchen where all of my cupboards and teapots were abloom with peonies and Glittering Trove brooches ($78 each) because--as I'm sure you can guess--Anthropologie girls do not actually eat or drink (the Chelsea aprons $97 hanging on the imported Chirping Parakeet Knobs $20 are just for show). Instead, we chew on how it is exactly we own three One-of-a-Kind Nomad Necklaces (handmade in France $328) and what the secret is of our Secret Dragonfly pot ($38) full of--you guessed it--three more One-of-a-Kind Nomad Necklaces and Joe's Raw Hem Kickers ($152), whatever those are.

Of course, if I lived in an Anthropologie catalog, I wouldn't ponder any of this too long; Anthropologie girls have things to do! Like what? Like constructing little birdhouses out of Deep Tropic Tiebacks ($68), Eterne Curtain Rods ($58-98) and Citrus Swirl Finials ($68), whatever those are.

And like changing into our Equinox Calling Dress ($168) and Maru Sash ($38) before washing our Sundra Blossom Quilt ($228) in the nearby babbling brook.

And like donning our Macaw Maillot bathing suit ($188) before lying supine on our Color Waves Towel ($36) next to a barrel of impossibly ripe stone fruits daydreaming of the magic tree in the back garden that sprouts handbags! The Javanica Tote ($88)! The Molten Folds Bag ($198)! The Foliage Unfolding Duffel ($128)!

If I lived in an Anthropologie catalog, everything would be nearly perfect. I would walk through my green house with a wreath of wildflowers in my hair whenever I pleased, and I would never ever have to pay a shipping fee. I wouldn't even care that Anthropologie is se la vie spelled wrong.