Spring Break Cleveland 2010! Woohoo!

Day One:

At first everthing went according to plan; I slept in, worked out, arranged to have my wrecked car fixed before my father noticed, and settled on the sofa (OK, OK, it's not really a sofa-- it's more like a chair. What, mom? There are PLENTY of 31-year-olds who do not own a stupid sofa) just in time to watch fluffy afternoon talk shows while eating frozen peanut butter out of the jar.

Alright that last bit is lie--no matter how bad it gets, I will ALWAYS put the frozen peanut butter in a bowl before I eat it. However, "Aging Brilliantly" and "I Love You, but Your Sister's Baby May Be Mine" turned out to be my only fluffy talk show options, and given that I currently have enough denial in my life, I turned my attention to pondering where I could go last minute for Spring Break.

After wading through some more of said denial, I decided Tahiti was out. But shopping for clothes that I could wear in Tahiti --should Mr. Bond so be inclined to send me a telegram requesting my presence--was in. Hey, this is my denial, which means I say who. I say when. I say who! (Extra credit to anyone who can name the movie).

Anyway, on my way to the shops I got caught at the red light on Chagrin and Van Aken and Winslow and Warrensville and Two Other Streets Whose Names I Can't Remember and realized that by the time the light changed at this particular intersection (which has been referred to by local politicians in a rare moment of candidness as the devil's handiwork) Spring Break would be over. So, I turned around and did what I have been doing since the November 2008 election in moments of despair or general ick.

Dear President Obama,

I believe there's been a mistake. I still have not received my stimulus check and well, you see, I want to go on vacation. As a person who has dedicated her life to teaching people how to read, write and think, I am obviously not paid well enough to actually go on vacation during those alleged three months I have off every year.

I thought I would write to you while I was sitting in a state of denial on a sofa I don't own in the middle of the day eating peanut butter out of a bowl so that you would maybe help me. You haven't seemed to have heard me when I was playing by the rules--that is, trying to alleviate some of the burden of this country's shameful illiteracy rate, working like crazy to pay off my huge graduate school loans, paying my bills on time, showing up day in and day out, and paying my taxes.

I'm sure it was just a simple mix up, and I know you are like so busy, but I would really appreciate any kind of check you could send me or any kind of bill you could pass to help me out of this quagmire of personal responsibility and accountability I've found myself in.

Love and dos besos,
m.

Tomorrow: Spring Break 2010! I Want to Live in an Anthropologie Catalog

*To my dear students in English 253 and English 334: No, I was not at all bitter last week when I asked you where you were going for Spring Break and you rattled off (with a readiness and efficiency hitherto unknown to me to exist in you) a list of exotic destinations. Perhaps you'll have better luck with el espanol y le francais than you've had with your mother tongue thus far this semester.